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Here is a different view of diving and all the other stuff that comes in a package with it...

Gim in two (or more) ways

 

Ever wanted to know how to use diving bottles for different activities, not just for diving? Well, it's your lucky day! Here are a few tips on bodybuilding...

TIP 1: Take two 15-liter bottles, one in each hand. Grasp firmly. Now, run up'n'down the stairs for half an hour (it is recomended that you use our stairs that go from the diving base down to shore - approx. 50 steps).
RESULT: You'll feel fresh and light like a feather (not probable), or you simply won't feel your legs for a while (highly probable). After one week you'll have those nice Rambo-looking legs...

TIP 2: Take two 12-liter bottles and a steel bar. Tie up each bottle on one side of the bar with a rope. Now you have a bench-press weight! Lay down on an improvised bench and begin your workout!
RESULT: Depends on persistency. The more persistent you are, higher the chances are for you to be relocated to the nearest hospital for psychiatric evaluation...

TIP XYZ: Give your creativity a chance. I'm sure you'll be able to come up with something...
RESULT: Depends on you.

Free sauna!

 

Another special tip for all of you people who want to loose weight. It's highly effective, almost free*, and it requires only one item - diving suit (the thicker the better). Here's how to do it: on a sunny day, around 2:00 PM, put on your diving suit and go to the beach. Lay down somewhere in the shade (this is to protect your suit) and let the heat do the rest of the job. It is recommended that you do this about an hour every day for 10 days. After this period you might even loose some weight, not to mention the nasty side effects --> due to the massive amount of heat your body will sweat and since you're in a tight diving suit you may want to take an extensive bath (more than once) to get rid of the nasty smell you'll most certainly have. Don't forget to wash your suit...

Hey, I didn't say it wont smell :) You know what they say: "NO PAIN, NO GAIN!" :)

* this excersize is, as stated above, almost free. This "almost" means that it doesn't calculate those 100 liters of shampoo and 10 tons of water you'll need to get rid of the smell.

Wanted!

 

Here's a picture of our director, and diving instructor, just after the aliens had finished all the experiments with him. Please, if you see him, don't panic! Sources say that he won't bite you (WARNING: unconfirmed rumor!). Chances that you'll miss him on the street are a 1000000:1. Due to his nose it is much easier to spot him.

Tip for easier capture: You should be able to distract him with some blueprints of a boat, submarine or a plane.

If this doesn't work I have no other recommendations except for this one --> RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Give-away T-Shirt

 

Check out this sample T-shirt every diver receives when his/hers 250th dive is in our diving base. This also applies to 100th dive (I think). Since we didn't have any XXXXXXL T-shirts for this super-body-builder, he had to settle with an L size. Looks good, right?

SuperDiver™

 

This is an exclusive, extra special, for your eyes only, top-secret, military guarded, state-of-the-art, water-proof (even radiation-proof!), environmental diving suit! And we have it!!! Yep!

Here is a small explanation: on top of the suit there's a special titanium helmet that protects the diver from head injuries. The goggles are specially fabricated infra-ultra-hyper-red-violet which allows the diver to see for 10 miles underwater and during the night. Features include multi-level zoom, automatic light adjustment, windscreenwiper and de-frost mechanism. Next is the state-of-the-art respirator combined with super-small bottle with an extraordinary capacity (over 200 mm3). As for the jacket, we must keep our mouth zipped and not say a word due to security reasons. Anyway, you can see by our lab-rat...ooops...diver(!) that he is extremely satisfied with this new suit.

The person next to our test-bunny...I meant to say DIVER...is one of ours technicians and he's just making sure that everything works as expected...